(e)arly twenty-first birthday wish

It's kinda nonsense to talk about 21st birthday wish specially with the term "early"

since I just turned twenty few months ago.

But truthfully I have a very big wish that I hope it will be a reality before next August comes in.

I know people'd say you're suppose to blow the candles,

 make a wish and keep it a secret

in order for the wish to come true. Of course things like that are just words that comes

with good feeling which one needs to hear at times. 

Even so, I have a wish or rather something that I like to change which is

"to be able to love again".

Weird right? People usually would wish for "I want to meet somebody that I could love" or vice versa

or perhaps "I want to love this, this or this kind of person" 

but here I am making a wish that is rather unusual.

Honestly saying, love for me is the most hardest things to do. 

Some would just get into a relationships for fun or because of good feelings that only last for a while,

some would because of thinking its love which it could be if heaven consented,

some would grab the chances once it appears.

But for me, love doesn't start like this. I'd want love to start where 

I could see the honesty of the other party,

where I'm able to understand him, 

to know his real personality and 

to decide whether he's the one.

Which is why it's hard for me as I couldn't seem to open my heart to anyone at the moment.

Even tho a few of my friends knew there are some people in my radar

but that's just it; I wouldn't want to try to take it into another stage.

Not because I'm a girl. If you're my friend then you would know I can do things about love

that girls normally don't. 

So here I am in a dilemma wondering when will be the next time that I could fall in love again?

The most crucial doubt that arose in me was that 

"would I be able to fall in love again?"

So as the title said,  " early twenty-first birthday wish" - 

To be able to love again because I would want to celebrate my 21st birthday with my future lover 

so that I could wish on my 21st birthday that 

"may this person is the one that will celebrate with me for the rest of my birthday."

:) 

whoever you are, be healthy till the day we meet so I can be the one to  take care of you.